Ladies and gentleman, for your horrific listening pleasure I present to you now the tragic tale of young Vincent Vaude.

Lyrics, vocals, and arrangement by Ian Michalski.

Lyrics

There once was a boy named Vincent Vaude

Who by most accounts was very odd

While other boys would Idolize their fathers at his age

Vincent dreamed to one day join Houdini on the stage

Alone within his room he’d stand

Practicing his sleight of hand

It’s said that he was skilled at pulling rabbits from a hat

But always failed miserably to levitate the cat

These parlor tricks with pets began to bore him through and through

And so he thought he’d try his hand at feats of dering-do

Escaping from locked closets proved more simple than he’d planned

And so he thought he’d try for something grand

Inside his head he milled around

Some way to baffle and astound

Perhaps it could be done with things like floating spirit bells?

Or possibly with lock and key and water torture cells?

So he kept his young eyes peeled

And soon the answer was revealed

While scouring his attic for some items he could use

He found an old and dusty trunk and knew he’d found his muse

Examining it well he thought how easy it would be

To lock himself inside and then triumphantly break free

And wasting not a secondary thought of what he did

He quickly leaped inside the trunk then closed and locked its lid

There in the dark Vincent started to shake

In fear that he’d made quite a deadly mistake

His confidence was unrelenting at least up until

He realized that he possessed the will but not the skill

He tried to scream and shout but soon his air was running out

He realized the end was near quite surely

What an awful story

When his parents found him neither one knew what to do

His face was froze in terror very dead and ghastly blue

And now he haunts that attic as a ghostly little boy

With frightening his folks his only joy