Regrettably, your first post here, although doubtless intended to be humorous, actually contained language that is potentially highly offensive. Since such language is strictly forbidden in the Community (see the rules in the footer of any forum page, specifically in this case #1) I have edited your post to remove the entire first paragraph.
You have a perfectly valid question to ask, but your use of such language in this forum is NOT the way to do it.
Please repost your question, using acceptable language, to a new thread.